I'm like Tori Spelling, Cept Fatter and Less Alcohol

This blog took off like a fish with no fins.  Rest assured!  I've not had a sip of anything.  On the contrary, it's made me sick to think of any sort of beverage.  Positively sick!  That's only because, however, I was sick.  So I guess I'm at Me: 4 Alcohol:0.  T-86 days.  If I had it my way it would be T-12 days.  But that's how the cookie crumbles, or the beer spill, or the martini down the front of your dress.

I'm classifying myself as an Alcohol Anorexic.  Anorexic, no.  That's so junior year of high school.  Alcohol Anorexic, yes.  For many a reason.  First reason is that there is still beer and Mike's Hard Lemonade in my fridge.  And Three Olives in my cupboard, for what it matters.  If I were to PURGE of these things to promote my "good habits,"  I would most certainly've been an Alcoholic Bulimic.  But it surrounds me always (on a side note, Mr Incredible two days into this dumbfoundedly asked me why I wouldn't have a beer with him.  That's when I was sure this was a) a nightmare b) my version of hell.  or at least purgatory) and I just say no.  Like Tori Spelling with dessert.  Or dinner or lunch.

Second reason, I'm bound to lose weight by doing this.  Again, for many a reason.  First of all, I wouldn't be surprised if I had 400 calories a night (or every night I drank, anyway) from beer.  Secondly, let's consider the foooood the cheeeeese the chocolatttte the pizzzzzza.  I really don't have much of an appetite for that stuff unless beer past present or future is involved.  But that could be the flu talking.

Third reason:  I'm am in control like an anorexic.  I avoid drinking by mere distraction!  Like cleaning!  taking a shower!  organizing!  going for a walk!  reading a magazine!  or AA!
No that's not entirely true, not true at all, actually, but I said I have many a reason.  So I needed more than two.